Fishing Trip!
by ThunderClouds7
Summary: What will happen when max takes the flock on a fishing trip? CHAOS! especially when flock members go wandering into the forest to meet mysterious characters! Insanity, Legend of Zelda,Harry Potter,Random other stories,and silliness. Enia Onyx cowritten
1. Fishing Trip!

**Onyx: Hello to the smallish world of people who read our story junk!**

**Enia: It ain't junk, its awesome**

**Onyx: Yeah, well, floosh!**

**Enia: Floosh is a funny word. Onyx is making me write with a dull pencil! Waaa!**

**Enia: Heheh. We are writing this during a forced volleyball game. The teams both suck.**

**Onyx: Yup. Ok, we are going to write a fanfic now. Maybe.**

**Enia: Possibly. Lets go!**

**WARNING! MAX RIDE x HP x LEGEND O' ZELDA + POKEMON= BAD! And there is some language. Hardly any, though.**

**Disclaimah: disclaimed**

Max POV

"Let's go fishing!" I yelled to the silent house; it was five in the morning and still dark out. No one was awake. "Come on! Get your lazy asses out of bed!"

Iggy, the early riser, stumbled out and threw a pillow at me "Shaddap Max! Some of us are trying to sleep!"

"I told you yesterday we were going fishing!" Cue exasperation.

"When?"

"Like, every time you came into a room!"

"I have selective hearing."

"Obviously."

"Ugh, well, I'm blind. What am I supposed to do on a fishing trip!"

"You don't need to see to be able to reel in a fish." An unsaid 'duh' was plain in my voice

"Huff. Fine. I'm up. Smargleflarg. I'm gonna make breakfast because I don't feel like keeling over from your cooking today!"

I made a face at his back as he went into he kitchen. He was still the only one up.

"GET UP!"I screeched; my voice echoed around and around and around the house and outside birds took to the air, cawing.

Fang was up next, with Dylan following closely. Fang was his ninja self, and Dylan was glaring daggers at him (not actual daggers!) "What?" Famg asked with annoyance.

"Fishing trip!" I said happily. "Get ready!"

"I don't fish," Fang said in what sounded like a macho voice.

"Too bad," I answered. "You do do now!"

"I'll do anything you want me to, Max," Dylan sighed dreamily. Freak.

"Ok, Dylan, go dig up some worms, oil the fishing rods with a nice tub of hot grease, wash the underwear, clean the fishing hooks, clean the bathroom, and..." I looked around for something else he could do, "and pick that gross poo off my boots! Chop chop! Get to it!"

Dylan made a sad face and slouched out of the living-room.

Suddenly we were accosted by a nasty gaseous perfume and I gagged violently. "Gazzy!"

"Sorry," he said sheepishly as he came in. I sighed, but let it go.

"Max, I don't think you oil fishing rods," Fang said.

"Yeah, but does Dylan know that?"

"Oh."

"Max? What is this about fishing rods?"

"Oh for chicken's sake! How many times do I have to tell you guys! Gazzy, we are going on a fishing trip today!"

"Max, I'm huungry," a high- pitched, whiny voice came from Fang. I stared, then facepalmed.

"Gazzy, I know that's you!"

Except Gazzy had gone to pack. I glanced at Fang, who was staring at the ceiling innocently. I sighed and decided I had better leave to go find Angel and Nudge before he started dancing.

When I walked into nudge's room my eyes and ears screeched in pain. She was blasting Justin Bieber and doing some kind of... it can't even be called a dance. "What the fricking fuck!" I yelled.

"Max!" came my mothers scolding disembodied voice."Language!"

WTF! AHH! WHEREDITCOMEFROM! I jumped up and whirled in a circle, looking for the source. Woah. Survival instincts!

"Max. Seriously. Take a chill pill, yo!" Yeah... something was up with Nudge too!

"Well, excuuuuuse me! Come on, we are leaving for the fishing trip now!"

"Gah! Fishing! Like on a lake? Grossssssss! I am going to DIEEEEEE!" Nudge fell back on her bed dramaticly. Justin Beaver or whatever the hell his name was was still blasting. I stomped over and turned it off.

"How many times do I have to tell you people! I must have said it a hundred times! Damn bloody nugget pie face gun rabbit flappy walrus breath! Ugh, ok. We are leaving in half an hour. Pack practical clothes and shoes! Ok? Get it, got it, GOOD!" Jeesh. I stomped off to Angel's room.

"I know Max and I am so excited! Maybe we will see a deer! Will Ella be there? Wouldn't it be cool if we saw a bear?"

She skipped out of her room dragging a large bag stuffed full behind her.

"THANK you Angel!" Glory Halleglueyah!

_Max, I think its Hallelujah._

" Naaaah. Creepy mind speech!"

"Teehee!" she skipped past me.

Ugh. I am dreading this trip now.

XxXxXxX

WHEW! And that is what you get with Enia and I writing this together! We alternate writing every few lines

and HURRAH FOR THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

Congratulations every one for makin it to summer!


	2. A Maximum Car Ride

**Enia: Well, it's been a long time.**

**Onyx: A long, long time! But never fear, Onyx is here! (oh, and Enia too).**

**Enia: Oh, thanks Onyx, just forget about me, would you.**

**Onyx: I didn't "forget" about you.**

**Enia: Psh, sure Onyx.**

**Onyx: ANYWAYS, this chapter features a duel between Fruit Ninja masters Iggy and Fang. And Dylan convienently tied to a car roof.**

**Enia: We're not entirely sure how that happened or why no one in the grocery store stopped their battle.**

**Onyx: Yeah... oh well. Just ignore the conspicuous plot hole.**

**Enia: Cough, cough. Heh heh. Anyways, we're gonna continue with the chapter so we don't get arrested by the plot hole police.**

***sirens***

**Onyx: Shit, Enia, run!**

**Enia: Ack! *they run away screaming***

**Samik: But someone still needs to start the chapter! ...they're gone. I guess as their lawyer that job falls to me. Please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Enia Silverson and Onyx Aurora do not own Maximum Ride. If you do not believe them, just look at their gender. They are female. James Patterson is obviously male. Neither do they own Fruit Ninja. Thank you. Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times and enjoy the ride. ~Samik Brekin, their lawyer.**

**Enia: Wait, since when are you our lawyer?**

**Samik: I elected myself. Just go with it.**

**Enia: Are you any good?**

**Samik: Trust me, my darling, trust me.**

**Enia: Never talk like that again and I will.**

**Samik: Deal.**

Chapter Two: Maximum Car Ride

Max's POV

Maybe sticking everybody in the same car was a really bad idea. Ensuing chaos should have been expected. But I guess I wasn't really thinking. So I shoved all seven of them into the car… wait, that's not quite right. We tied Dylan to the roof. I'm not sure if he's still up there but… I don't really care. The following is a recollection of insanity, and groceries.

"I'm a pirate!" Iggy screeched suddenly, covering one eye with his hand and almost making my eardrums burst. "ARRGH, MATEY! YOU BE STEALIN ME BOOTY! ENGARD!" He lunged at a very suspecting Gazzy.

Gazzy lunged out of the way, knocking into Fang in the process who looked at him with a dark, dramatic look before going back to his angsty thoughts, and yelled, "Yer on! I shall defend me loot!"

"What the hell is going on back there?" I demanded.

"Nothing," Iggy and Gazzy said innocently.

"It's best not to ask, Max," Nudge added. I turned back to "driving", slightly disturbed.

Total poked his head out of my bag, awoken by the cacophony. "Silenceo!" he yelled. "I'm trying to sleep!"

"But we're pirates!" Gazzy protested.

"Arr!" Iggy added.

I whacked my head against steering wheel, successfully sending us into the left hand lane and the path of an oncoming car. "AAAAAAAAAAAA!" everyone present screamed. I wrenched on the steering wheel and avoided the collision by a quarter of an inch. The person in the other car stared at me with wide eyes.

"Sorry!" I yelled out the window.

"You know what, Max," Fang said authoritivly "just get us to the grocery store."

I pulled over at the next street and drove into a conveniently placed grocery store. "Everybody, get out and go get us some food," I ordered.

Iggy and Gazzy tumbled out of the van and set about pretending to chop each other to pieces. Iggy laughed evilly as Gazzy stumbled back and into the store.

Gazzy's POV

We tumbled into the store and fought through the aisles, Iggy pressing me back towards the kitchen section. We stopped by the knives as I began a counter attack. Suddenly, Iggy's hands fell on the handles of the knives. An evil grin spread across his face. "What is this?" he asked.

I paled. "Kitchen knives," I answered stupidly.

He pulled out two of the largest knives. I backed away rapidly as he came after me. He chased me into the fruit section. I paused at the end and picked up two large pineapples. Iggy was slowly advancing towards me, twirling his knives, and I chucked the fruit at him. He paused and then, in one lightning fast motion, sliced the two pineapples in midair.

"Holy carp!" I yelled. "How'd you do that?"

"I'm a Fruit Ninja," he said mysteriously.

I began to rapidly throw more fruit at him. Iggy never hesitated, his two kitchen knives were a blur as he slashed through the fruit, juice splashing across the shelves like blood. I hefted a watermelon and heaved it towards him with all my might. I thought that I might actually land a hit, but Iggy was just letting me think that. Seconds before the watermelon collided with his head the knives of slashed down in and x and cleaved the giant melon in two. "Oh, you're good," I admitted.

Iggy grinned and as I chucked five apples at him, he spun around, knives outstretched, and slashed through every one of them. He began to stalk towards me again and no amount of fruit I threw at him could slow him. "FANG!" I yelled desperately. "I need some help here!"

"Back up!" he yelled and then he came vaulting over the shelf to my left. He picked up a handful of raspberries and slung them at Iggy. But Iggy couldn't be stop. The stained kitchen knives were a blur as he brought them up and defended himself. "It would appear that we have a real opponent here," Fang said seriously. "We're going to have to get fancy. But do not fear my young apprentice for I am Fang, Fruit Ninja Master."

Ever since Dr. Martinez got us those IPhones…

Fang struck a ninja pose and began to whip fruit off of the shelves at lightning speed. I thought I saw Iggy hesitate for a moment, but then he swung his knives and the two of them became a blur of movement and flying juice. Iggy began to push the two of us back and we headed out into the cereal aisle. "Hand me a box, o young one," Fang commanded.

I handed him a box of Fruit Loops. Fang tore the box open and pulled out the unopened bag. He chucked it at Iggy who sliced through it. A dramatic shower of rainbow colored loops burst from the bag and scattered on the floor around us, crunching under our feet as we walked.

The fight paused as the two combatants stared at each other, breathing heavily. Fang grabbed a bulk-sized bag of store brand Fruity Pebbles and heaved it at Iggy. Iggy brought one knife up in a vertical slash and sliced the plastic cleanly in two. More cereal showered the floor. We were making a real mess. I was surprised no one had stopped us yet.

"What're you youngsters doing?" a high, slow, squeaky voice suddenly asked. The fight froze. The three of us turned around to look at the speaker, well not Iggy; he looked to the right. It was an old lady in a pink, oversized sweater with a giant handbag. Uh oh. We'd had run-ins with crazy old ladies before and they had never ended well.

We paled, snatched up a handful of groceries and fled the store, not wanting a confrontation with the crazy old lady. We got back to the van and relized that Dylan was still tied to the roof. "Can somebody get me down?" he pleaded.

"Nope," we answered.

It was then that the crazy old lady burst out of the grocery store, screaming bloody vengeance, and came barreling down on us.

**Enia: *panting* Phew. I think we lost 'em, Onyx.**

**Onyx: Yeah!**

**Enia: Isn't our lawyer supposed to protect us from things like this? **

**Samik: Hey! I only cover the disclaimers. **

**Enia: Then what good are you?**

**Onyx: Meh, comic relief.**

**Enia: That's true. **

**Samik: I feel so loved.**

**Enia: And we can smash him over the head with things!**

**Samik: Wait, what?**

**Onyx: *pulls out a lamp and a baseball bat* Hehehe!**

**Samik: ACK! *runs away screaming***

**Enia: Uh oh, what have I started?**

**Onyx: Well, that got read of him. *spots a huge delicious feast and dashes off***

**Enia: Yes, because it is Thanksgiving. Mmm, food. Now please read and review or I'll sic Onyx on you!**

**Onyx: *looks up from the turkey carcass, juice dripping from her chin* Huh? Who ya gonna sic me on now?**

**Enia: Oh, just the readers if they don't review.**

**Onyx: Be warned!**

***cue evil laughing***


	3. Harpies not Herpies!

**Onyx: Well, here it is! I think this is a new record for us, Enia! **

**Enia: Yar. Onyx won't let me edit it, though. Blame any mistakes on her.**

**Onyx: There will NOT be any mistakes because _I _am editing! Henceforth, you do not need to "edit" and screw up all my hard work.**

**Enia: I think I know a little bit more about editing than you, Onyx.**

**Onyx: Narrrrrg. And we have the next few chapters planned out too! Hurrah for initiative! **

**Samik2: Dissin' the Claima' YO! … disclaimed.**

**The Real Samik: …I don't talk like that, Onyx**

**Onyx: *pulls of Samik mask* SHHHHHH, it's a secret!**

**Enia: O.o Let's just start the chapter before this goes a little too far.**

**The Real Samik: Right. Starting chapter here. 5…4…3…2…1 BLAST OFF!**

Chapter Three: Harpies Not Herpies

Max's POV

The old lady sprinted towards us, screeching something about bloody murder and how she would send our souls to the fiery pits of Tartarus. "Er… what?" I asked.

"We didn't do it!" Gazzy yelled as he, Iggy, and Fang came sprinting towards the van.

"Come on," I said. "You had to have done something. Otherwise there wouldn't be a crazy old lady out for your blood."

"We didn't do anything to her! We were just having a fruit fight when she starting screaming at us!"

"GRACKLEGRACKLEGRACKLE! I WILL GRIND YOUR CHICKEN BONE TO MAKE MY BREAD! GRACKLE!" Ok… now she was starting to get scary.

"Shouldn't we talk about this LATER?" Iggy yowled. "Before she chops us up into Chicken Fajitas?"

"Right! Good idea, Ig!" We launched ourselves into the car and I drove away as fast as I could.

"What _was_ that?" Fang panted.

"I think it was a Harpy," Nudge answered.

"Herpies?" Iggy asked.

From somewhere behind us: "Harpy not Herpes!"

Uh oh, now we'd made her mad. I looked in my rear-view mirror and saw the harpy latched onto the rear window, her gray face twisted and her gross granny mouth open and gnawing. I turned back to the road just in time to see something fly at the car, yelling, "DON'T WORRY MAX, I'LL SAVE YOU!" Ugh, Dylan, come to the rescue, except that his arms and legs were still tied up, and he was flying way out of control. I didn't swerve to avoid hitting him. I heard the slow squeaking as he slid over the top of the car, and bowled into the Herpie, knocking them both off the car.

"Pedal to the metal, Max!" Fang ordered calmly.

"Roger that!" I replied as we suddenly shot forward. I looked back in time to see Dylan take off from his spot on the road desperately, with the Harpy still clinging to him and shrieking.

"Well, that was interesting." Total piped up from the floor.

"Ugh, let's go home." Angel mumbled tiredly.

"NO! WE ARE GOING TO GO FISHING IF IT KILLS US!" I am a stubborn person. Very stubborn, and when I'm determined, watch out! There is no going back. I heard multiply sighs and mutters as I drove back to the place.

**Onyx: Alright, well enough of that.**

** Enia: Short, but sweet.**

**Onyx: Yeah, and if we don't get… at least ONE review, we won't add another chapter. JUST ONE!**

**Enia: I mean, seriously people. How hard is it to click the little button at the bottom of the screen and type something in the box?**

**Onyx: And send it! Honestly, we aren't greedy people. Just ONE review. That's it. Of course, more _would _be nice BUT that is not necessary. Just ONE REVIEW!**

**Enia: And winter break is coming up, the perfect time to update. But if no one leaves a review, we won't be able to take advantage of that. One review. That's all, just ONE.**

**Onyx: And never forget, R&R! That was kind of the whole point of this authors note. **

**BYE! R&R!**


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